The Only Human In The Field
by Queen of the Batterbos
Summary: This is the over-development of a suspicion. Won't say much more of who the characters are ethier read 2 find out then review! T for violence in a back story and my paranoia- Just because you're paranoid doesnt mean theyre not after you! *look look* 0 0
1. Chapter 1

AN I know I should be getting on with my A2D story and Lotta and I should be posting the legend of Dan Flynn and my Tangled/PnF xover and writing my Doctor who/PnF xover but I thought of this and had to write it- set in My fair goalie.

I thought of this while putting away the dishes- so here goes nothing

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Ferb's POV

I had to get away; they were going to find out about the curse. That damn cursed curse. They were all distracted so I went to the only place they would never look for me. I checked to see if they were all looking away; they were, so I tapped the tree as quietly as I could and it opened. I looked over my shoulder once again, and then descended to the strange base **I never built** under our backyard.

Ever since Phineas and I discovered this place, I came down here to think. It was easy really, Phineas is too oblivious to notice Isabella's crush on him, so sneaking into the tree should be nothing. I sat behind the screen on which the moustached man appeared and sat, thinking about how my cousins knew about the curse, and of course Phineas would tell them about the match. I hated my father's brother's family! They always had to be one up on the green haired kid with only his dad left. Of course the Flynn's changed that statement slightly, but my father and I are the only two Londoners in the whole of Danville! I tried to move on from being British. Believe it or not I did my very best, but I couldn't escape my past. I began to think about her and that dreaded night when I heard someone enter the lair. I had always wondered who would build a lair underneath our back garden but never realised I might actually meet them. I might be prosecuted for trespassing. I heard a book drop to the table and a sigh. Don't get me wrong, sighs do sound similar, but everyones sigh, cough, way of descending the stairs is slightly different. You can tell who someone is by these tiny details and the sigh was familiar. It had to be, but couldn't be. No, it couldn't be.

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(AN Slight backtrack now from Mystery Person pov)

Ugh! Why did everyone my age have to be so naive! It irked me SO much! I guess their lives weren't seriously messed up by their parent's murdering each other- seriously, my mum and dad were divorced, then, back together, then divorced, and then, okay you get the picture. In the divorced part of their cycle, my parents 'accidentally' ended up at the same bar. Both armed, and at the precise same moment, as they greeted each other- BANG! Two bleeding bodies. My older brother and I were adopted quickly. Life's was good then my uncle came round, said that he ran a secret organisation called OWCA. He needed me to document everything on two boys. Phineas and Ferb, the two owners of the top agent at OWCA. I took up the challenge, because, well, I'm awesome at acting, and the best way to do this job was to pretend to be their stalker. So the P+F scrap book was made.

So I dropped off the last volume I'd finished, when a flash of green caught my eye.

I froze. The flash revealed itself slowly, each inch confirming my fear. The Brit spoke "Irving?"

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A/N There you have it- Irving is the only human in the field. Carl doesn't count as he's technically an intern not a field agent

Carl: Awww…

Me: No! Carl! Wait! Darn it! Be right back, my borrowed without technical permission character is running away. Take that previous statement as a disclaimer please and I'll be off thanks


	2. Chapter 2

Previously…

"_Irving?"_

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Irving POV

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"Oh, umm, hi Ferb! I was… I was looking through my scrapbook and…"

The only thoughts in my head were _ "Damn it_ _Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it!" _So that really wasn't helping my cause.

"Do... Is... Is this YOUR base, Irving? Is this were you have your stalker HQ?"

"Umm…" Is too close to the truth to say yes but maybe… "No, I was looking through my scrapbook and saw my entry on your adventure down here and remembered that you insisted on the fact you didn't build this place, so I came down here to take a look to see…"

"Irving? Are you there Irving? Well, if he's not ACHOO,"

"Bless you, COUGH, Sir"

"Thanks, Carl. He's not coming I'm… Ohhhhhh…"

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Ferb POV

* * *

The screen came to life as Irving feebly tried to explain his presence here under my back garden.

I looked around, the lights being on showed stuff I'd never really seen before, like the fact everything is adjusted for someone who's about, I don't know, a foot high? Almost Perry sized. Wait, that was it…

"This is Perry's base, isn't it? You're his boss," I gestured to the man on the screen. "And you're not stalking; you're checking that we never find out about where Perry goes each day." I hit myself and let my hand drag down my face.

"I am such an idiot, how didn't I see this!" I mumbled

"Hey, aren't you guys having a game of X-7?" Irving piped up

"Not with my curse we're not! We can't win unless some boy in a Sunday bonnet sings," A high pitched yet clear piccolo note burst through air, "That note and where are we going to find an opera singer in Danville. The only opera singer I ever knew was…" I trailed off. The only opera sing I ever knew was my mum. She died in a set malfunction. T was the first time my father took me to see her. All the medic's said to me was "Chin up, lad! She'll be fine! Just keep a stiff upper lip" and other British stereotypes! IT. DROVE. ME. INSANE! I was 3 for crying out loud! I watched that light hit my mother square in the face! Dad, however, understood, it's just he was to busy answering how he felt to every damn microphone shoved in his face!

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Irving POV

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"Umm… Ferb?" The Brit snapped back to earth. "You trailed off there. It doesn't matter about winning, it matters about having fun!" I may not be their actual biggest fan, but I found out in my research that they're good people, people who might want me as their friend, no matter how much my parent messed me up.

"Yeah, true. I played footie when I was back in London from, like, the age of two. I got good after… after my mother died." Whoa! Step back a second. Ferb's mother is dead?

"Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"Of course you didn't! Nobody did except Father, Linda and myself. THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN DAMN DANVILLE WHO KNOW THAT MY ACTUAL MOTHER IS DEAD!"

"Hey, calm down. If it helps my Mother and father murdered each other."

Ferb stepped back. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Heh, I guess we're more similar than people realise."

"Huh, yeah, I'll say." I thought quickly, "Hey, Ferb, for your X-7 game, do you need a ref?"  
"Yes, yes we do. I can't believe we didn't think of that. You can ref if they haven't found one yet. I best get my kit on."  
"You're playing?" I asked, despite I knew Ferb was a fighter, and with good friends around him he could do anything

"Yeah, if my team will have me, curse and all." I thought about the fact that Ferb had discovered Perry's secret and that he would have to be wiped. Oh well.

"I'll be right with, I'm going to get some… dry ice!" As soon as Ferb left I set the memory wipe machine (Not the amnesia-inator, the wiping machine used during the Lawrence Fletcher Incident) fro a selective wipe, so our conversation about our parent's wasn't wiped, but Perry's secret was. I grabbed some dry ice (I know, I found some!) and quickly changed into my striped shirt.

This will be a good game!

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There you go, I don't think I'll put any more chapters up, or do a sequel, but if I do, I'll do it about Irving taking on some bad guy. REVIEW!

CP3A (Who does NOT claim PnF) is out- PEACE!


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